Animal Man; Deux Ex Machina in 5 panels.

My family has been murdered!

I have become a killer!

And I have discovered that my life is not real, and nothing but sick entertainment!

My life has literately no meaning!!!

... Ah, fuck it! let's say that it was all a dream.

... What?

New Avengers; Everything Dies in 5 panels.

 We must do something!

 I don't want to do something!

I WANT to do something!

...We just did something!!!

.... Gee... How interesting... Good for you...

New Warriors 1-4(AKA my one-year special)

Can you believe I've been doing this for a year now?

Yep, one year(and 6 days) has passed since I did my first 5-panel version of the graphic novel known as Kingdom Come. And that is why I will review a series I have promise long ago to take a look at: New Warriors, written by Christopher Yost.

This is one of those series where people has said that it either will be spectacular, or be a poorly written piece of crab. The later has been argued that it will, because: A) Scarlet Spider, who are part of the team, is going to fill up too much due to him being pretty popular after a 25 issue long solo-series, and B) Speedball(once known as Penance) was too happy and "out of character," since he is suppose to be depressed.

... This is the problem with being a comic-fan. The people you find on forums to talk with about your common interest can many times be cranky nerds who just want to complain about how stupid something is long before it has been published, and with meek points. And I am happy to say that they were all wrong.

Let's take a look at the first four issues, shall we?

First of all, I simply can't give Marcus To's art enough praise. It's simply gorgeous! Not too real, not too cartoonish. And the coloring is great too.

Our comic starts out with a cow-lady being killed by the villain(?) named High Evolutionary. He is a not-exactly villain who created man-animals because evolution and stuff, and do to the event of Infinity(where allot of humans has become "inhumans," do to gas from Black Bolt) he believes that Earth is soon to be judged, and that he has to cleanse the planet for everything not human, so that it can be spared, starting with his own creations.

... Not exactly how I imagined the first issue of the new NW series. The Warriors has usually faced not so high profile foes(with an exception here and there), but then again, they have evolved a great deal since they started out in the 90's. Just take a look at what is left of the original team: Justice, who started out as the awkward Marvel Boy with low-level telekinesis is now a former Avenger, been a mentor for teen-heroes both in the Initiative and Avengers Academy, and his telekinesis seams to grow more powerful for each day there goes. And Speedball, who used to have little to no control over his bouncing, and had to depend on dump luck, can now control his at first seemingly silly power, which has evolved in his time as Penance. So maybe it's only reasonable that they have a heavy-weight foe, especially since the going-to-be team also has an improved Spiderman-clone and a demigod.

Speaking of witch, to all the people who was generous enough to tell us that NW was going to be nothing but a replacement for the Scarlet Spider series, and that Kaine and Aracely would fill too much, I have this to say:

I bow before your uncanny ability to predict FOUR MONTHS before a series is going to be published how it's going to be. You were completely right! Clearly the two of them fill up too much with a total of four pages! I mean, Speedball and Justice only have six! And they totally don't have proper buildup, so new readers who don't know them wont have to read Scarlet Spider first. Kudos to you, and your well-based opinions.

Alright, sarcasms aside, this is a pretty good first issue. Sure, we don't see to much of the other characters, but you sense that it's building up. My favorite part is a classic "hero mistake other hero for villain" fight with the team Salem's Seven, which result in an interesting conversation between Justice and S7 leader Vertigo about having a past against you. Because this is what the new NW series is primary about: Redeeming the New Warriors, who had a bad name since Civil War.

The actual plot is pretty forward: High Evolutionary has joined forces with a group named the Evolutionaries in order to kill all super-powered humans, so that the planet will be spared from some intergalactic space-god named Exitar, and therefor cross ways with the eight superheroes who after destroying High Evolutionary's meta-gene bomb decides to become the new New Warriors... Sort of...
That is the opening story collected in issue 1 to 4, and I have to say that it's pretty good. We are introduced to all the characters, we have established why they band together(even though they aren't all to warm on the idea, but they stay at the moment), and it's colorful and funny to read. And that is not all: It's clear that Yost has done his research on the Warriors' history, it's even mentioned that they know the Black Bolt and the Inhumans from one of their earlier adventures. I enjoyed this series, not only as a NW fan, but also as a comic-fan who want to read a team-book without X or Avengers in it's name. Too bad To stopped being the artist after issue 4. But with Yost as writer, I predict that  the fifth "New Warriors" series is going to be superior to the first.
That's all for now. I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

Waezi2's top nine mistakes.

... Yeah, I make mistakes sometimes.
Sometimes, i have been told that I dont even try, but it's actually because I try so much, that I sometimes get to eager, or unconcentrated, or whatever, that I make some fatal mistakes now and then. I hope you can bear over with me, and understand that I do my best in a attempt to entertain you and share my passion for comic-books. But I think it's about time we clean the air, and I confess my top nine mistakes. Starting with one I actually dont get WHY is a mistake:


Number nine: Death Note i 5 panels.
Seriously, why is this my only 5-panel where people has told me that they actually hated it? Sure, I've been told that some of my 5-panels was kinda meh, but sincerely bad? I't an old gag, witch I have seen been used before, and the most people liked this gag. Well, not here. Maybe it it doesn't work when it's been written...

Number eight: JLA/Avengers in 5 panels.
When I started to notice that I had gotten a bit lazy. I had done this before, and two of the jokes was actually recycled, and it felt half-hearted. I only did it because I really wanted to make a 5-panel out of this amazing crossover. If you haven't read JLA/Avengers, then you definitely should.

Number seven: Superman Grounded in 5 panels.
Someone told me, that the last panel about Sups being okay with nuclear plant owners lying was out of contexts. And it was... in theory, since he was brainwashed or some crab like that. The problem is, that the attitude that Superman had, when he said that he wouldn't let Lois write an article about a plant breaking allot of rules was already there, and I still think the magic brainwashing was Straczynski's way to try and save his story(he failed) because he realized that he had made a mess of a story, and now needed to explain why Sups was so much out of character.
BUT my panel was out of contexts, so; my bad

Number six: Avengers Vs. X-Men in 5 panels.
I have used allot of time to point out ALL the holes in this crossover, ESPECIALLY that Cyclops act childish for no reason, and that his idea about letting Hope be the new Phoenix was downright stupid. I was wrong... kinda...
You see, the reason to why he was so obsessed with making Hope the Phoenix was that he was told by Cable that it was important that he did so. Cable even told him to fight the Avengers, if necessary. So even though I think the the whole story is full of holes as large as whales, I have to admit that Cyclops decision about making Hope the vessel for the Phoenix Force was explained. It's still stupid though...

Number five: Green Lantern; Rebirth in 5 panels.
I'm not the biggest Hall Jordan fan(I'm more of a Kyle Rayner kind of guy), so I didn't know it was canon before this series that Hall's father was dead, and that it had such a great impact on him. I just assumed it was a retcon, since there was a crabload of those in "Flash; Rebirth." BUT I could just have made a Google-search, so again; my bad.

Number four: My spelling errors.
And there is ALLOT of those, and I'm sorry for that. But I AM Danish, so I hope you understand.

Number three: The Speedball review.
In it, I claimed that the 10 issue long Speedball series was from the 90's. It was actually from he 80's. I was too lazy to double-check, and also kind-of in a hurry.

Number two: Identity Crisis in 5 panels.
Not so much because it's that bad, but because I feel I only pointed out what I didn't like about the comic, instead of making a parody. I felt I was selling out, once I looked at it again.

Number one: Justice League (New 52) in 5 panels.
I have NO IDEA what the heck I was thinking! First time I actually deleted something, that's how bad it was.

That was my top nine mistakes, and there will possibly be plenty more. Because that how it is, when you try and do something creative of any sort. I actually consider rewriting my look-back at the New Warriors series.
I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

The Quest For Lost Comics: A handful of issues 5.

I'm back from Copenhagen with a bag full of new comics. ere are a few of the single issues I got my hands on:

I find Cable as a very odd comic-book character. Not because of his cyborg-body, nor his over the top big weapons, bu because he, apparently has telekinesis, but never use it, and instead use guns. But I never really tried to find out why, because I dont find him that interesting. Now I have tried to read the second issue of his first solo-series(I couldn't find issue 1), and I have to say that it's... kinda cool. In a 90's kin of way. But also kind of confusing, since there is a lot of characters I do not know who is, but I think I'm suppose to know to read Cable. Maybe they were part of issue 1? And what is up with his hair?
It's to early to say if the series is good or not, since this is apparently one of those with allot of buildup, but I think I will give it a chance, especially since the writer is Fabian Nicieza, writer of the New Warriors, and also Gambit, witch I haven't read, but heard should be good.

I have no idea who Moon Knight is. I think he has something to do with the Egyptian god of the moon named Khonsu, but he doesn't have any powers. But he is apparently a pretty big deal, so I have decided to read a little about him, starting with the 5th issue of his second series.
And it's pretty damn good! It has that dark tone the 80's had, before the 90's ruined it with bad art and extremeness. There is some good action, and it kind-of reminds me of "Sandman; Mystery Theater," so I think I will read some more Moon Knight.
But enough of positive surprises, lets get into some great disappointments...

As I have said before, I'm a big fan of the New Warriors(And I like the new series so far), and I had for a long time my doubts about whatever I should read the apparently not very successful second series or not. I found issue 7 for practically nothing, so I decided to give it a shot.
Apparently, I shouldn't.
It's kinda sad, since I can sense that the writer did his research before writing, but it's just not... well, it's not horrible. But it just annoy me how Turbo handles her anger against her boyfriend, who she discover is actually a super-villain that was suppose to finish her of. If he was a complete scumbag, sure, let him have it! But He let her beat him up, and offer to help with getting a gang the Warriors are looking for, and he even assist in the fight WITHOUT his gear, and she's STILL a (pardon my language) bitch toward him! Sure, she SHOULD be angry and feel betrayed, but enough is enough, woman! And the art is... awkward. It looks like the Warriors are making faces all the time. And I'm still irritated over Nita not being blue! And YES, I know that it's fake or something, but why should she bother putting make-up or whatever? She is Namorita FREAKING Prentis! She is strong, proud and self-secure! She has no need to be ashamed of how she looks!
But the worst part of it all, is Night Thrashers new look:

... Dwayne... What the heck are you wearing?!?!
Look, normally, this would be a pretty standard superhero costume, all things considered. But this is NIGHT THRASHER! He is known for his advanced armor, that may not be a Tony Stark, but is still damn advanced! It protect him from attacks from super-powered humans, but still allow him to move freely, so he could be an active member of the Warriors. And he takes extra care of protecting his identity by using a helmet that covers his entire head, and also changes his voice slightly.
This suit... he is not protected AT ALL! And what is up with those batarangs? And what is wrong with his face?
And why do I bitch about a hero nobody gives a damn about, besides me?!?!

That's all for now. I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

Batman Incorporated(New 52) in 5 panels.

Hey, we are Batman Incorporated. We are here!

Reboot? What Reboot?

I have killed a 10 year old child! What a glories victory!

I'm Talia Al Ghul, and I have surpassed my father. Gotham and Batman are at my non-existing mercy, everything is planned to the smallest detail, and nothing can...

... Well, THAT was easy...

Quest For Lost Comics: Deadshot.

What happens when you give a bastard who gives a damn about how he dies a reason to live?

I do not read that many super-villain comics, but when I do, it's usually good stuff. That can be said about the 5 issue Deadshot mini from 2005, written by Christos N. Gage, writer of such great series, like Avengers Academy, and Union Jack(both can be found in tpb)!

We all know Deadshot. He is he assassin who are nuts enough to take any job in a world full of meta-humans. He is fearless, since death doesn't bother him, especially not after his only son was killed by a pedophile(in the pretty damn good 4 issue Deadshot series from 1988,also available in tpb). But Deadshot learns that he is actually still a father, since he has a little daughter with a former prostitute named Michelle. After a visit in the Star City Triangle, a unsafe ghetto, he realize that the the Triangle is no place to raise a little child. So he decides to clean it up for gangs, Deadshot-style!

Who would have thought that Deadshot would make such a great anti-hero?

The story may seem a little rushed, but it IS a mini. But  actually think there was potential for a ongoing. Deadshot is not a hero, and he is only cleaning up the Triangle to make sure that his new family is safe. Sure, he makes a truce with a certain bowman, but it's based on mutual respect, and barley that.

There is a lot of action in this series, as we see Deadshot fight the gangs of the Triangle, mercilessly and fast. In the final issue, there is a showdown between Deadshoot and a gang of his former allies who hates his guts. They are 9 against one, so they are, of coarse, hopelessly outgunned:)

I'm not that crazy about the art, but it's far from bad. I would say that Deadshot Vol. 2 is all in all a bulls-eye, so go an get this lost treasure as fast as you can.

I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.