Friday, September 26, 2014

Waezi2 Halloween reading part 17.

Last year, I reviewed "Umbrella Academy; The Apocalypse Suite," so I better take a look at the sequel; "Dallas."
After saving the planet from their sister, The Umbrella Academy has disbanded again, more dysfunctional than ever. The ones great leader of the team, Spaceboy, is now a fat-ass, who watches television all day, feeling sorry for himself. The Rumor has lost the ability to speak, and therefore also her power to alter reality. And The Boy... well, what is HE up to?
It appears that he didn't tell the entire truth about how he manege to get home from the future. He has a shady past, one that has finally caught up with him. Only one thing can be done in order to save the day: President John Kennedy must die!!!
"Umbrella Academy; Dallas" is possibly as messed up as it's predecessor, and possibly even more bloody(thanks to Hazel and Cha Cha). Gerard Way's writing is insane and messed up like you wouldn't believe. It's like someone threw Itchy And Scratchy from the Simpsons, the X-Men and Grant Morrioson's brain in a wok. THAT is "Umbrella Academy: Dallas"!
And speaking of Morrison...
Batman is dead, LONG LIVE BATMAN!
After his mentors death in Final Crisis, Dick Grayson must put on the cowl in order to let Batman live. He is now also responsible for Damian, the 10 year old son of the Dark Knight, trained to be the world's greatest assassin by his mother; Talia Al Ghul. Together, Dick and Damian becomes Gotham's new Dynamic Duo. A Batman and Robin like the world has never seen before.
And there first case is one messy one! A new super-villain who calls himself Professor Pyg has come to Gotham. He is insane, disgusting, and he wont stop until he has made everyone in Gotham into "Dollotrons," the perfect human beings according to him. And it wont stop there; The Red Hood is back in town worse than ever, with a mission to make crime-fighting "grow up."
This is as weird and sick as you could expect it from Grant Morrison. I have a problem with it's continuity, but it is very minor. Frank Quitely's art helps making the story even more creepy, especially the Dolltrons, which is possibly Morrison's most messed up idea to this day. "Batman & Robin; Batman Reborn" collects the first 6 issues of the series, and is perfect for Halloween.
That's all for now. Next time; my top nine Blood Lad moments.
I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Waezi2 Halloween reading part 16.

I never got the idea behind "Marvel Knights". Seriously, what was the point?
As far as I understand, "Marvel Knights" is suppose to deal with more mature themes than Marvel usually does. Quesada once said in an interview that "Marvel Knights", and I quote: "challenge readers to re-think their favorite Marvel characters and re-evaluate the legends that surround them."
... And?
What's new about that? Comics ALWAYS did that! Even in the Silver Age, to a certain degree. What, Gwen Stacy's death was just a cakewalk? Peter used god know how much time to get through it, and it's still a important part of his life. Sounds pretty mature to me! Heck, I never realized that "Marvel Knights; Spider-Man" was a specially mature Spider-man story, since, well, it felt like any other Spidy story I have read: Spider-Man kicks ass, has problems in his life as Peter Parker, and the fact that the world is messy and it's difficult to make the right decisions. so on and so on. And dont get me wrong, I LOVE "Marvel Knight: Spider-Man", in fact, it's my favorite Spidy-story. But besides quality, what separates it from other Spidy comics?
And that is one of the problems with "Ghost Rider: Road To Damnation." HOW is this adult-ish? You wanna know what it is? Just a story. That's it. Sure, it has this idea that probably was new in the early 00's about Heaven and Hell both manipulating humans, but today... it's nothing new, so I'm not impressed. But it does have some pretty cool and revolting art-work.
You look at the scan to the left, and  I know what you are thinking: THAT is a Halloween recommendation?
Hell yeah, that's a Halloween recommendation!
"Teen Titans 100-Page Spectacular" has a couple of short stories, all of them weird and great in each of their own way. But one of them stands out; "Batman A-Go-Go."
In this little tale, the Silver Age Batman stand face to face with his greatest enemy; realism! Gordon blames Batman for not being "relevant", and tell him to stop being a goody-two-shoe. And Dick is apparently not interested in being Robin anymore, and hangs out with a girl called Sunshine, who fill the boy's head with dark thoughts of a new age. And then things starts to get dark! Really, REALLY dark!
Some might claim that the ending is a bit of a cop-out, bu I actually like it. But believe me, this 14 page story is GOLD. And nasty as hell, too.
Besides "Batman A-Go-Go," there are some other nice, but bit more lighthearted stories, like a brawl between the Teen Titans and the Doom Patrol. It has priceless moments, like when Robin says: "But Betty, that was BEFORE I saw you in a towel..."
That's all for now. Next time: More Doctor Mid-Nite.
I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Top 9 Yu-Gi-OH MY GOD(!) moments.

I cant even write the word without grinding my teeth a little. Of all my childhood hobbies, the Yu-Gi-Oh trading-card game is the one I feel betrayed by the most. Tournaments are no fun at all, unless you are a gigantic geek who has the right card, because it all ends up in whatever you have the right cards or not. Different strategies doesn't mater. Yu-Gi-Oh has killed itself. Even worse is the anime that literally LIES to the kids. It claims that everyone can be a master duelist, as long as you work hard and believe in yourself, but it's rally all about buying cards to an obsession. This game is nothing more than a glorified money-maker, that makes kids rude to each other. Sure, there are other games like Vanguard and Magic The Gathering, but they at least require a strategic mind and well-prepared decks. Yu-Gi-Oh is simply too easy to win if you have the money for it.
Wow, that WAS refreshing! I feel a tidy bit less cranky about Yu-Gi-Oh.
Well, now that I have that off my chest, let's talk about the manga, shall we?
You may not believe it, but there was a time where Yu-Gi-Oh were more than just trading cards. It was one heck of a messed up manga about a boy who got the mystic power to punish all of his tormentors VERY harshly! So it's needles to say that there were moments that almost gave a 13 year old me trauma when I first read it. So since Halloween is near, I will give you my personal top nine Yu-Gi-OH MY GOD(!) moments. Here is number 9:
In chapter 4 of the series, a man escapes prison and made Anzu his hostage. Yugi then challenge him to a game, that involves only using one finger. First one to die, lose. Yugi wins by tricking the madman into letting him light up his cigarette, and then place the lighter on his hand as he is filling up a glass of vodka. The escapee is now unable to move, since the slightest movement would result in the lighter dropping in the vodka. He get's so scared that he drops his cigarette in the vodka, and he then BURNS to death!!! This was the first time(but not last) someone died as punishment in the manga, so this was a big deal.
Number 8; Mosaic Illusion.
An messed up and evil film-director wants to make a documentary about bullying in Yugi's school, and hire a guy to dress up as a student and beat the ever loving shit out of Yugi. The director is later challenged by Yugi to a shadow-game. The film-director lose, and as punishment, he get's the curse "Mosaic Illusion," so that he for the rest of his life must now see the world pixelized like his so-called documentaries. Now THAT is a pretty grim and hardcore punishment!
Number 7; Zombie Yoshimuri.
As a way to force Yugi into his pharaoh-persona, the tomb guardian Shadi casts a curse on a friend of Yugi's grandfather; Professor Yoshimuri. He becomes a mindless zombie, and starts to attack Jonouchi. Nothing stops him, no matter how many times Jonouchi punches him in the face! Heck, he lost most of his teeth! Seriously, just look at the scan to the left, TOTALLY CREEPY!!!
Number 6; The Electric Chair Ride.
This moment is not so terrifying because of the actual game, but because of the guy hosting the game. When Yugi and his friend are trapped in Death-T(an amusement park of death created by Kaiba), one of the rides they have to go through is called "The Electric Chair Ride." Make one sound, and you will be fried. But what's REALLY unconformable about it is Kaiba's butler who are in charge of it. Seriously, he is creepy as hell, and he enjoy this game with passion! EW!
Number 5; Monster Fighter.
Nagumo, a guy in Yugi's school, beats up the students and steels their Monster Fighter figures. Yugi challenge him to a shadow-game version of Monster Fighter in order to punish him. In this game, whenever their monsters are hurt, THEY receives the damage instead. So when Nagumo's monster is punched in the face, his own face starts to crack. Not bleed, CRACK. This makes the game even more surreal by making them break apart like toys, instead of bleeding like humans.
Number 4; Jonouchi VS Chopman.
This is the least game-like game in the whole series. In Death-T, one of the rides ugi has to go through is called "Murder Mansion." In it Jonouchi has to fight a man-monster called Chopman, a serial-killer hired by Kaiba to be part of Death-T. And holy crab, Chopman is scary as hell! He is pretty much all crazy murderers from horror-movies putted together!
Number 3; Evil Bakura impales his own hand.
Number 2; execution execution.
In middle-school, Jonouchi used to be part of a gang of led by a mean SOB named Hirutani. They went their separate ways, when Jonouchi went to Domino High. But later, Jonouchi is visited by Hitutani, who wants him to be part of his gang again. Jonouchi at first has no interest in being part of it, since he has moved on from being a violent delinquent, but joins the gang ones Hitutani threatens to hurt his friends bad. After one of Hitutani's guys punch Yugi, Jonouchi starts to beat the shit out of all of Hitutani's gang-members, but ends up, and here comes the fucked-up part: He ends up being tied up in a abounded warehouse, where Hitutani and his guys ELECTROCUTE him with the intention to go on until he dies! DUDE!!!

Number 1; Yugi and his friends during Death-T.
This one might need a little explanation.
Remember what I said about Death-T? That it was an entertainment-park of death, which was created to get back at Yugi for defeating him? That it was full of sadistic butlers and crazy mass murderers? Have that in mind, and then look at this panel...
... What is WRONG with you people?!?!
Be horrified, for Christ sake! You almost died! Several times!!! And you act like you are Ash and his friend on their Pokemon journey! And this specific panel is RIGHT after the Chopman fight! They look like Jonouchi won another gym-badge, not like he just KILLED a guy! Sure, he was a mass-murderer, but he was still a human being. A human being who were BURNED to death! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YUGI AND HIS FRIENDS?!
And that was my top 9 Yu-Gi-OH MY GOD(!) moments. Next time, I will have some recommendations for Halloween reading, including one about the Spirit Of Vengeance.
I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Waezi2 Halloween reading part 15.

Well folks, there's only a month and a half to the spookiest holiday of the year. So just like last year, I have a couple of suggestions for Halloween reading to you guys(you can read last years reviews RIGHT HERE). Hope you can use them.
In the two-issue long story called "Skin Trade," several superheroes has been victim of organ kidnapping, like skin, eyes, hair and such. Someone is running an illegal clinic that specialized in cosmetic surgeries with superhuman parts. Doctor Mid-Nite of the Justice Society of America is on the case, and and he is up for one heck of a trip as he enters the horrifying world of body-part dealing.
Go home Batman! Doc Mid-Nite got this covered.
It's nice to have a detective story that doesn't futures the Dark Knight of Gotham as it's main character, as well as seeing Mid-Night in action instead of being on the sideline, treating the sick and harmed superheroes. Mid-Nite uses his amazing skills as medic in his crime-fighting with elegance and brilliance. He is not as strong and well-equipped as Batman, but he is just as smart, which he has to be in this gory tale of what lengths people are ready to go in order to have a perfect body. Nasty little read and highly recommended.
Shinichy wakes up one morning to find a snake-like creature trying to get into and take over his body. Trying to get the creature out of his body, he manege to stop what apparently is a very intelligent parasite from taking over his whole body. But it's still inside of his right arm, and can control and shape it as it is pleased. Shinichy and the parasite(which he has named Migi) must now try to coexist as best as possible. Easier said than done.
I dont like this manga. Not because it's bad, but because I'm not a splatter-fan. And believe me, there is ALLOT of splatter! The parasites that takes over human bodies eat other humans, and they are quite messy about it. The gory part is not the actual feasting, but what is left after they had their meal, which is, to put it mildly; rater messy.
What really makes the series interesting is this very surreal relationship between the young man Shinichy and his new right arm; Migi. Migi has no problem with being honest about that he would have preferred to take over the entire body, and the fact that the only reason to why he doesn't eat humans is that he doesn't have to eat that much with a body at the size of an arm.

That's all for now. Next time, my personal "top nine Yu-Gi-OH MY GOD(!) moments."
I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Not-White Month: Iron Patriot.

Once upon a time, there was a very sick man named Norman Osborn.
Norman was just as crazy as he was evil. He committed many TERRIBLE acts as the super-villain known as the Green Goblin. But when Norman saved the planet from aliens, he was made chief of national security, and he changed his name to Iron Patriot, and yet again, committed many more terrible acts.
SURELY, this is the guy a superhero should name himself after, right?!
SERIOUSLY!?!?! Why would Rhodey take the name of a psycho like Osborn?!
But I'm getting on a sidetrack. But can you really blame me? Anyway, the actual comic:
This series lasted ONLY 5 issues. And honestly, I get why. It's not that it's bad, it's just so... adequate! And that is possibly the worst thing a comic-book can be! Seriously, what am I suppose to do with an adequate series? I cant point fingers at it, or make fun of it, since it's... well, okay.  How's the characters? They are okay. How's the writing? It's okay. How is the artwork? Fine. GOD, I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD MISS BAD WRITING THIS MUCH!!! Ales Kot, why couldn't you fail, so I had something to aim my anger against?! Damn you and your okay writing!!!
I really wish I had more to say, but this comic is just so... bland. It just exist. It wasn't good enough to make us want to keep buying, and not horrible enough for us to buy it in order to hate it. It's actually quite sad...
Well, that was the end of Not-White Month. Now I must go back to write reviews that no one gives a damn about. Speaking of witch; Next time: New Warriors!
I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

Dark Wolverine in 5 panels.

I am Daken, and I'm the best at what I do. Which includes...
Merciless killing...
...psychological torture...
... and having daddy-issues.
None of it is pretty. But I make it look beautiful.
... Boobs, Josef... Remember that you like boobs...

Monday, September 1, 2014

Not-White Month: Daken; Dark Wolverine.

First of all, YES, I realize that August is over, so I shouldn't really keep posting Not-White Month reviews. BUT, do to being the owner of three adorable kittens, I have been a tidy bit more busy than expected. But I still have three more comics I really want to review, so I say; SCREW IT! I'm Waezi2, BITCH!!! August is over, when I SAY it's over! So please add an August the 32st page to you calender, as we continue Not-White Month.
Today's subject is the comic-book series; "Daken; Dark Wolverine," and I have to ask...
... What the hell just happened?!
What just happened to ALL the awesomeness of "Dark Wolverine"? How could "Daken: Dark Wolverine" fail so much?
After issue 90 of Wolverine, Daken left as the main character and now stared in a series of his own; Daken: Dark Wolverine... Because it apparently was VERY important to use the word Wolverine to sell the book. But what do I know about marketing? Maybe we really need to make a series called "Winter Soldier; Young Captain America"?
Anyway, back to the failure that is "Daken: Dark Wolverine."
Remember what I said was so great about "Dark Wolverine" series? That Daken was this powerful, manipulative, attractive bastard that you couldn't help but like and root for? Imagine that this piece of awesomeness became a drug-addict. All the power, all the control, all the genius that guy had was gone in a second. THAT'S exactly what happens here, people! THEY MADE DAKEN A DRUGGY!!!
Instead of being about how awesome he is, it's about all the awesomeness he lost! All the awesomeness he doesn't have! And to top it all, he get's a dump-ass love interest who's around as useful as Sakura before Naruto Shippuden. And THAT says allot! I really wish I had more to say, but I dont! I just really despise this series! This series is for Daken, what "Emerald Twilight" is for Hal Jordan... Except for the detail that "Emerald Twilight" at least gave us Kyle Rayner. "Daken: Dark Wolverine" gave us NOTHING, except for disappointments.
... Well, to be fair, the first eight issues was actually pretty good, but they cannot compensate for the rest of the series. And I get that it has allot to do with change of writer, but really; who in their right mind could possibly think that making the main character in a comic a drug-addict a good idea. When has is EVER been a good idea to make a super-villain/hero an addict?

I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

Iron Fist: The Seven Capital Cities of Heaven in 5 panels.

 We are the Imortal Weapons, champions of the seven cities of Heaven!
I am Fat Cobra! My size and strength is only outclassed by my speed!
 I am the Bride Of Nine Spiders! My heart pumps the coldest blood imaginable, and horrors inconceivable to mortal men.
 I'm the Prince Of Orphans! I can turn my body into mist, and slaughter armies alone!
I punch stuff very hard!
... Very, VERY hard!
... Cool, I guess...